Imagine here a clever tagline that draws you in.
And then this would be the point at which there would be some sort of sales pitch to convince you to buy one or more, but preferably all, the books you see listed in the sidebar to the right. Unless the sidebar has been moved to the left side and no one noticed that this section needed to be changed to reflect that.
But that all sounds like a lot of work. Ugh. Do you want the author working on writing sizzling sales copy or writing the book you want to read, because there could be an inverse relationship between the quality of the sales copy and the quality of the book, since the author can only focus on one thing or the other, so which should it be?
While you ponder that rhetorical question, this copy just gets more and more inane.
Do you like kittens? That’s cool. Kittens are pretty awesome. Unfortunately, no kittens appear in any of the first three books in the sidebar at right (or left). However, in the first book, In Search of the Legendary Phineas Ray, there is a cat. Full-grown. Not a kitten. Sorry. Mind you, the cat isn’t a major character in the book and the cat definitely does not talk, but a cat does make an appearance, so there is that. If it makes things easier, think of it as an overgrown kitten while reading it.
Yay for kittens! Or, adult cats. Whatever.
Do you like unicorns? Awesome. Because a unicorn does make a brief appearance. Like one scene. But a totally awesome scene. At least the author thinks so. Hopefully you will agree. If not, think of unicorns! Yay! Unicorns! The book is not about unicorns, so don’t get too excited.
As for Dan’s Lame Novel, well, actually, it’s not really about anything. It just is. But, if you like tacos—or even if you don’t—you’ll be pretty perplexed over their inexplicable appearance in the book. Also, many rules of writing good fiction are ignored or tossed out the window completely.
Rules. Who needs ’em?
In contrast with Dan’s Lame Novel, the stories in Bloody Love are about something; namely, romances that end badly, which, to purists, means they aren’t romances at all, but for lack of a better way of explaining it, they are, more or less. They are simply romance stories that, rather than ending happily ever after, end not too happily at all. Well, some do kind of have happy endings for one member of the prospective couple but most definitely not for the other. Just don’t expect any to end with a happy couple moving into a beautiful Colonial home with a white picket fence, 2.5 children and a puppy.
Now, with any luck (though history would inform us otherwise), you are probably feeling inclined to purchase one of those books. Just one. Not all three. Because they are so completely different from one another. Why would you want to buy and read all three? Maybe you don’t like romance stories that aren’t actually romance stories. Maybe you just like books that randomly toss in a unicorn for no reason other than the fact that unicorns are pretty cool. Or maybe you don’t want to read a book with zombies. You just want to read a book that is pretty lame. So, you’re thinking to yourself, there’s no way you want to read all three.
Well, you don’t want to miss out, do you?
You see, at some point, a fourth book will come out. That some point has already occurred. And it’s Bad Fiction. In it, you’ll begin to see the connection between two of the three aforementioned books. Another future book will reveal the connection between all three. And so on.
And things will keep churning along and you’ll see how things all tie together and you’ll be like, Wow! I can’t believe I almost missed out on all this! So, don’t be the one at your impromptu office water cooler book club that is missing out! Buy all four! Read all four! Then be “in the know” when future books come out.